What drunk Akatskis do
by Deidaraforever
Summary: I've always wonder how d it be if the akatski members had a guys night and all got wasted. Well if you want to know if there will be secrets revealed, new love or even death? Read. There is Strong language no lemon.


What drunk Akatski`s do

Pairings: Deidara x Sasori, Hidan x Pain, Itachi x Kisame, maybe Hidan x Kakuzu.

I don't own Naruto or the characters :(

Hi there here`s another fict, I've always wonder how`d it be if the akatski members had a guys night and all got wasted. Well if you want to know if there will be secrets revealed, new love or even death? Read. There is Strong language no lemon. Just fluff.

"ah shut up and pass the damn vodka" Pain moaned grabbing the Russians bear from Kisame`s grip."shees, he`s lucky we got him away from that pain in the ass of a woman" Deidara whispered to Hidan. He just shrugged in reply and drank his red square."Now gents, shall we play a little game to make this night interesting" Kisame said getting up a little tipsy.

"Sure" Kakuzu replied sarcastically. "Itachi the honours" Kisame began but Itachi`s reply was daggering Kisame with his eyes."I've got a better idea, since we all get drunk, lets figure out the kind of drunks we are, while we try to get Itachi wasted" Deidara suggested and drank his Smirnoff ice.

"Good idea…whoa…" Kisame tipped over and fell head in Itachi`s lap. "Sorry…beautiful, have I ever told you, you look like a woman, the first time I saw you I wanted to fuck your brains out" he laughed as Itachi`s face grew red he was caught off guard by this comment but slightly insulted. I mean a woman, gosh. (But man is he beautiful X3). Sasori gripped Deidara`s waist tight blocking him from getting up.

"Okay ill get this on the road, since no one ever appreciates me" Pain began to cry. "oh my god this stuff`s good" he got up whipping his tears drinking his vodka again. "No sit, drunkard ill do it" Hidan got up.

"let me break it down, Pain is a crying drunk who moans, cries and annoys, Kisame is extremely honest and rude, Sasori is clingy and horny, Deidara is a yes man drunk who does anything you dare him to, Kakuzu is a arrogant sarcastic know it all drunk, and I'm a carefree drunk, who doesn't give a two shits about anything, and Itachi is a…" he smirked.

"Actually I've never seen Itachi drunk" he said. Sasori started rubbing Deidara`s member threw his pants he licked his neck.

"Okay, let`s get Itachi drunk!" Deidara shouted in excitement.

"Alcohol is bad for ones system, that's why he doesn't drink it" Kakuzu stated.

"Ahhh, Sasor… shut the fuck up Kaku, he`s a fucking pussy that's what he is…not so fast" he put a hand over Sasori`s which was still on his crotch as he rubbed it with him. He continues to moan. Pain still sobbed.

"Oh my love I'm so sorry I miss you, I'm sorry, so sorry, so sorry" "you know what, would someone sober him the fuck up!" Kisame protested. He turned to a now pissed of Itachi. "Okay Itachi what beverage would you like, JC le roux, hansa or beer" Hidan began.

"Or sex on the beach" Kisame said still in Itachi`s lap. Itachi gasped and pushed him of. "It's a fucken drink, moron" Kakuzu stated. "I don't mind, if you`re up for it, so I can tear that fucking clothing which I've always wanted off you and…"

"Hay, hay don't interrupt…" Itachi didn't reply still looking red as the clouds on their robes. "Okay do you like sweet, bitter, tasteless, sour or salty?" "Oh I know, let's try, Jack Daniels" he popped out the bottle and filled the whole glass. "Bottoms up Uchiha" he went to sit next to Kakuzu.

Everyone stared in anticipation as the never been seeing drunk was about to drink, except Sasori who could get his hands or eyes off Deidara, and Pain who flooded the Akatski hideout with his tears. Itachi looked eagerly at the goldish liquid, this was it.

"Drink it sexy slut" Kisame cheered on. He started drinking till he chocked as a burning sensation overwhelmed his throat. They all chuckled.

"Fuck you all" Itachi retorted and drank the whole thing down to the last drop. "Fuck yeah!" Deidara cheered on.

Hidan whispered to Kakuzu. "well you're the only drunk with a brain so, don't let Kisame drink too much, he`s a goddamn confidant to many secrets" "you hiding something, I know you are?" "Piss of I don't care"

"Time to play, Spin the truth or dare, here the rules if the bottleee land on you, you guts to kiss someone, if you don't want to you have to do a truth or dare, but each round, the kissing moves up a base and the dare and truths get harder…harder… Oh harder…" Deidara moaned as Sasori fiddled in his pants.

"I'll begin K" Deidara grabbed a bottle and span it. It landed on Itachi. "K Itachi kiss me or pick truth or dare" Sarori looked up in disinterest. "Fuck off his mine" he retorted. "Dare" Itachi smirked. "I dare you to tell us exactly how you feel about Kisame, in detail" Deidara shot.

Itachi had loosened up but he was still a pain in the ass. "I want…" a snicker form Deidara irritated him. "I want to rip of his fuckin clothing and break his neck" he smashed and empty bottle to the ground.

"Okay… um Sasori it`s your… never mind Hidan" Hidan grabbed the bottle and span it landed on Pain who finally stopped sulking. Hidan smirked. "Aren't you gonna kiss me?" he asked licking his lips.

Pain came over slowly but was in doubt; he embraced his lips with his own. "Oh Lord Jashin, he`s a fucking good kisser" he moaned in the kiss, Hidan pushed Pain to the floor and ran his hands over his member earning a moan from Pain.

"Guess it's my turn" Kakuzu said grabbing the bottle. It landed on Kisame. Oh shit no.

"No fuck way I'm gonna kiss you ugly fucking piece of shit" Kakuzu was now pissed at the comment. He smirked. "What then, Mr. Sunshine?"

"Dare""I dare you to drink a whole full bottle of Russians vodka"

"Fine fuck too easy" he gripped the bottle and drank it down to the last drop, the rest were too occupied to notice. "Um okay why?" Deidara asked confused. "You will see…" "Okay all let's get back to our seats" Kakuzu ordered. Pain returned with bruised lips.

"Fuck off buzz kill, don't cry cause no one wanted to kiss you" Hidan retorted and drank hunters gold. Pain sobbed softly. "Geez" Deidara said. "Let`s up it a notch, Kizame, do the honours" Kakuzu said. "Fuck what, you people" he got up.

"Sit down!" Itachi fumed. "Oh really, sorry, Hidan I heard you whisper about me you piece of shit, don't think I didn't hear you jacking off to Pain in your room" Hidan gasped.

There rest hollered. "what you worried about that I thought you don't give two fucks about anything oh wait you have feeling for him shees, some loser you are" "and you Pain, I know you're a fucking gay ass, I know what you did with Sasori and Deidara"

"What?" he began to sob

"That's enough!" Hidan shouted. "You, Sasori, man slut, shees are you sure you are drunk?" "Oh Deidara, oh Mr. yes man oh would you please suck my dick, oh yes I'm Deidara and I do anything for anyone, cause I'm just a fucking weakling"

"Finally Itachi, please you're a fucking alcoholic you're also a fucking… crazy…. Violent… drunk" Itachi hit him on the head, with a bottle as Kisame fell unconscious and fell flat on the ground.

"Fuck you ass wipe!" he stood then kicked his head. "You can all suck it!" he kicked the glass lamp until it shattered on the floor. "Hay no that was expensive" Hidan complained.

"Haaaaaa!" he began breaking everything in his sight. "Is he dead?" Pain poked Kizame`s head. Blood dripped from the visible would.

"That's its Itachi, kick it break it yeah, if it feels good do it!" Deidara cheered on with Sasori still fiddling with him. "Oh whatever" Hidan got up and tore the wallpaper. Kakuzu just sighed at the madness.

"I'm king of the fucking world, bow down bitches!" he broke the glasses form the kitchen counter. Hidan went to join him breaking every last one. "You wanna go huh" Itachi challenged Hidan as he threw punches at him. Hidan dodged all of them. "Free man!" he ran upstairs and no one saw him. "Geez"

A few minutes later he came down again. '"if I were you all I'd get shit out" Itachi came back holding a lighter that was on.

"Oh shit his gonna blow us up!" "No you dumb idiot the place is just gonna burn" Kakuzu corrected. "Shut up" "the ground look, I thought I heard something leak" the entire floor was wet. "Run, get Kisame!" Deidara commanded Hidan.

"Fuck no; he can die here, the son of a bitch shark" "Sasori!" "I'm on it Dei, only so we can fuck in the woods" he dragged Kisame`s body behind him."Come on Pain, unless you wanna be roasted akatski!" Kakuzu said to a whimpering Pain who willingly followed out the door.

"Too late fuckers!" Itachi threw the lighter which engulfed the entire hide out in massive flames. "Yes now the fuckmunch is dead" Hidan rejoiced.

"Free man!" Itachi ran out of the burning hideout, now naked and ran around the bushes.

"Maybe we should have sobered up our leader, while we had the chance"

Well there you have it Read and review please.


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